The following is the result of a conversation which i had with my friend called kruthika galactica antarctica …
Kick and Nut are two, I repeat two not three enterprising young short tall and fat etc- knights of the 21st century. One fine day they realise that they could take up politics. Now would that be difficult or easy, an analysis:
well to get votes the procedure followed is
step 1: the instigation::
1. Instigate caste A against Caste B, and tell them that you’ll get rid of Caste B and all the troubles that they cause.
2. Instigate Religion A against Religion B and tell A that B is evil and it must be eliminated.
step 2: the harvest::
well now you’ve got the votes, yippee, go get drunk you moron !
PS: I would like to acknowledge the pioneering work of various noble gentlemen as Varun Gandhi and and the Thackreys and of course several popular nice and selfless Indian politicians in this regard(ie of procedure “Upur S mho Rho N ” otherwise known as divide and rule which in todays world, i guess would be a Chinese adage-as everything is “made in china”-much rather than an old British policy now being followed by our nobel-selfless- politicians.
So there it was an easy procedure for K and N to follow : Draw large crowds and give out juicy hate-filled communal speeches. However there was a glitch, K was agnostic and N was an atheist and both were apolitical and if they did go out giving hate speeches it would probably be against all religions and all castes around and ultimately they would get killed. Facing their grim future rather gleefully(coz it was grim anyway) they decided it was time they made a bucket list. A wish list of all the communities that they wanted down before some one got them down and so they got down to it.
One by one they started off on their list. The most Religulously delicious of all was of course Scientology. I’ll bet scientologists might have given people like Russel Peters many a sleepless nights. But anyway here we have a bunch of people who believe that we are ever present aliens. They charge a fees for being a member, more interesting is the fact that they sue people who follow their religion without formally telling them. Oh and yeah humans came from a clam too 
.
>>Read
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thriving_Cult_of_Greed_and_Power
So anyway instigating scientologists and somewhat normal people against them wasn’t very hard, K and N went along to the local fish market-got themselves as many clams as they could and burnt them, the poor scientologists couldn’t bare with the death of their fatherly and motherly clams and committed suicide the remaining were mugged in communal riots which soon ensued.
And so one by one by one K and N managed to win over one community over another and telling that yet another community that an evil community B existed which wanted to hurt and destroy the friendly Nobel people of community A. Soon there were no communities left and the people who were left alive realized that they had been duped made idiots off. Unable to bare with the humiliation (so much so that they themselves couldn’t stop laughing ) they decided to CRUCIFY K and N.
In the process that K and N were being cricified, some sensible people realised that K and N had finally done the unthinkable . They had almost gotten peace on earth while most normal people had only made piss on earth.
None the less there were still some angry people around who still wanted to crucify K and N. After weeks and weeks of deliberations between the two parties ( which were drunk to say the least) it was decided that K and N would be crucified however they would be made in to a religion for their Nobel and possibly successful attempt at bringing peace to the world.
So they got their bucket list and became immortal too.
Thus was born a new religion the KIN faith aka Kick in Nuts.
I’m guessin jesus could’ve been borne out of a similar process, he must have killed so many people blindly that there must’ve been no one left to fight. Of course which means he got peace to the world. Now since he killed so many people he was still crusified but made a god or whatever for all the peace that he got on earth !
PS: On top of that bucket list was peace
May we all bless God
To all the ℧ ρ ηs…
